Mini-Rants on Facebook: Part 2

If you haven't read part two, you might want to get on that right about now. I ranted on "LMS" statuses, song lyric statuses, and people who like everything.


Guess what Facebook-ers? I have much more to say. Voila, part 2:


"Only 90's Babies Will Understand" Photos


Lot's of popular pages will post photos of "old" things, such as pictures from old TV shows. They always say something like "ONLY 90'S BABIES WILL GET THIS." Which is true, I suppose, but if you think about it, everyone on Facebook should understand these. Unless you break the rules of Facebook and get one before you turn thirteen, and you were born in this century, you probably won't understand these photos. But most of us already know what they are, except for the adults. They probably won't catch on with the TV show pictures, because they don't and can't keep track of what you watch on TV.


I've done plenty of research.

This is Angelica from the Rugrats on Nickelodeon. I used to love this show, and Angelica was the big sister brat character who wouldn't go anywhere without her doll, Cynthia. Everyone knows someone like Angelica. She lies all the time, but in front of adults, she's the sweetest thing on earth. Think about it. 

[For those of you who do remember the show, here's a little flashback just for you.]

It says so right on the packaging, bubble tape. This one everyone should understand, and if you don't, no fear! They still make it, so everyone can know what it is. I'm not kidding! If you look on the wrigley website under Hubba Bubba, it'll show you how they just came out with a new type of bubble tape, which is the Mystery Flavor. Talk about a backfire on those pages who say that only 90's babies will understand this. 

This one said that only 90's babies would understand how frustrating this is. Excuse me? Are you not aware that phones just like the one in the picture still exist? They do. So anyone can understand this one as well. Psh.

No, they do not mean to rearrange the lines, they mean use the lines as they are positioned, and draw around it to make a letter. Yes, I know how to do it. It's an "S." It looks something like this:

Thank you, thank you very much. I drew this on the computer. If you don't see an "S" from that, I'm sorry. It's an "S."

This page said: "Like if you remember these!! Only 90's babies!! <3"

WHAT? Maybe they don't make this specific kitchen set anymore, but I would be very surprised if they don't make any kind of them anymore. Honestly, everyone knows what these are, and everyone remembers. 

If you don't know who this is, it's Arnold from Hey, Arnold! on Nickelodeon. Let's take a look at Arnold, shall we? I love how:

-He has a midget hat that matches his shirt

                        -The hat completely separates his voluminous blonde hair

               -He's wearing a plaid skirt and a matching colar shirt

                                                -He's wearing blue tights

             -His head is just like Stewie Griffin's (Family Guy)

[For those of you who do remember the show, here's a little flashback just for you.]

The power puff girls. Cartoon Network. Did anyone else think that Buttercup, the green one, was a guy?? She/he always seemed like the rebel and the bad boy/girl of the group. I remember her voice always sounded deeper and more masculine to me. Anyone else? 

[For those of you who do remember the show, here's a little flashback just for you. This one actually has the video with it, instead of just the audio.]

Ed, from Ed, Edd, and Eddy on Cartoon Network. The three of them were stupid brothers, and that's basically all I remember. Very interesting drawings of the characters, that's for sure. 

[For those of you who do remember the show, here's a little flashback just for you. This one is also the video as well as audio.]

This page said, "Who remembers them???"

Excusez-moi, did you not know that Toy Story 3 came out last year? Unless you were born in the past three years, or your parents haven't introduced the wonderful Toy Story series to you, you and everyone else on the planet and the universe should know who these characters are. Everyone. Even your stepdad. 

Looney Tunes. That's Road Runner on the cliff there, and Wile E. Coyote, defeated once again by his arch nemesis. Any future parents out there? Planning to have kids? Great. Fantastic. Just don't ruin their childhood by not showing them Looney Tunes. These cartoons must live on. 

[You know who it's for.]

This page said, "Like if you know her :P"

At least they didn't say "remember," as if Miranda Cosgrove wasn't on TV anymore. She's one of the highest paid actresses, and she's been on our televisions since the dawn of time. OK, not the dawn, but since Drake and Josh, her career has just rocketed. If you don't know what show this picture is from, [iCarly], you have no comment from me. 

I'm not posting the theme song, because if you turn on your TV, you'll find it eventually.

"Who remembers them???" 

Understandable, I suppose. Now they're much older, of course, and off in their own directions. Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe, and Rupert Grint. Also better known as Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley. 

Aren't they just adorable?

Enough about that. You get my point. Some are completely understandable, but others are just ridiculous. It's like all the "90's babies" are a secret club on Facebook who are on a secret mission to boost their fat egos and make all the other generation babies upset that they didn't grow up with the best TV shows on Earth.

First, Second, and Third Comments

Whenever a very popular page publishes a picture, or sometimes even a status update, someone will almost always race to the photo and comment on it as quickly as possible. Just for the sake of commenting first. Really? You have nothing better to do with your time? Your life goal is to always be the first commenter? 

They usually make a big deal of it. 

"FIRST!!" 

It's even better for everyone else when the person comments "FIRST!!!" and someone before them has already commented something better than that. It's just embarrassing yet hysterical. 

To all you out there who do this: please. Playing words with friends is a better use of your time than competing with strangers to comment first. Think about that. 

Facebook Is Not Your Diary

Some friends of mine treat Facebook like a daily diary kind of thing. I think of it as a place to communicate with others, ask for help on homework, for opinions of others, and especially a great place for fun and games, and witty and clever status updates, such as, "Mood swings SUCK!!! Well, they're not that bad..." Now that is clever. 

But I never just post something completely useless and dumb. Maybe I used to, but not anymore. I've learned that no one wants to read that, and no one really cares! I'll give you a few examples, in case you are a victim of the Facebook Diary Disease. And I assure you, there is a cure!

"Hair cut time!"

Great. We all need to know that you're getting a hair cut. Unless, of course, you take a picture of the it afterwards, then that's different. Then we all get to see the locks on your hair in a different way, like never before. But just a trim? Really? 

"Goin' for a walk." 

OK? And? What is the significance of this that made you put it on Facebook? 

"Really tired... can't wait to go home and sleep!"

Oh really? That's how I feel when I'm tired, too! Great minds think alike! It'd be another thing if you put a [unique] reason why you're tired, but nah, I guess it doesn't matter. 

"It's raining today...:( "

Yes. Yes it is. Thanks for pointing out the obvious. I'm sorry that this caused you to make a sad emoticon. 

"I'm bored."

Then get off of Facebook and do something productive. Go write a story or something. That's what I do. Works pretty well killing time. It can backfire like heck though, because if you're serious about your writing like me, you'll understand why I sometimes get no sleep because I'm writing. 

"No one's textin' me!"

Oh no! You should take it personally! 

People have other things to do than text you, even if you are an amazing person. You have better things to do than be texting 24/7, I promise. As I mentioned above, do something productive. Or, if your thumbs are really itching to text someone, go and text someone. Don't wait for them to come crawling to you. 

Or, if your thumbs are really itching, itch them. You've got eight other fingers to complete that task. 

Another common status update that bothers me is when people talk about someone they dislike anonymously. Examples:

"You were clearly lying when you said you cared, if you're going to give up that easily."

"You are just SO annoying! Leave me alone, kay???"

What's wrong with these? First of all, you're supposed to be writing all that love drama and friend drama in your diary, not on Facebook. Second, it leaves everyone else feeling all awkward, trying to guess who the person is mad at. Unless it's song lyrics, then you can go ahead to my previous Facebook rant to see what I have to say about that. 

A lot of times, what I'll do when I see these emotional statuses is try tell the person that there is in fact something called Facebook Messaging, where you can message the person privately. That way we don't have to guess and feel awkward. 

Remember how I said that there is a cure to the Facebook Diary Disease? It's very simple, and the medication doesn't cost much. It can even be free, if you use your computer Word documents. So what is this magic medication? Get a diary. A journal, a private notebook, whatever you want to call it. Just write in it. 

Words of wisdom brought to you by the one, the only, SWH. You're welcome.

Pointless Page "Likes"

Many pages, I've noticed, almost always asked you to like everything, and for the stupidest reasons. 

The picture of the bedroom with the "LOVE PINK" blanket said, "Like if you want this room." Yes, it's an interesting room, and I'm sure it exists somewhere. What's the point of putting it online, and why say "Like if you want this?" Is this some sort of survey? Who cares if you want that room or not? It's obvious that it's a room that I'm sure many girls would want. This is like putting up a picture of a beach and saying, "Like if you wish you were here." They have done that. It's basically a weird reminder of what you wish you had, and what you really do have.

For the record, I do NOT want that room. Something about "LOVE PINK" stuff pisses me off. It's too mainstream, and it's WAY too girly for me. Me and my bright yellow room with zebra print butterfly chairs are all set over here, thanks.

Now onto the picture of the toothbrush and toothpaste. Really? It's not like they're keeping track of people who didn't like it. Thanks for reminding us all to keep our pearly whites pearly white.

The one that says "LIKE if you hate guys like this," so? We all know there are guys like that in the world, but why remind us? Seems completely pointless to me. I wonder how many relationship fights started after this was posted.

I especially don't like posts like the last one in the picture. "LIKE if no one fooled you today. COMMENT if someone did and what happened." Why does this Brandon Cyrus care if someone fooled you, and why does he care what happened? This is exactly the kind of thing you're supposed to put in your diary. I realize that this isn't the "Facebook isn't You're Diary" rant, but that's just a point I want to make across the board, no matter what rant I'm in the middle of right now.

Lesson learned yet?

I'm all set. For now. There might be a part three. No body knows... [the trouble I've seen.] 

~SWH